Support This Website

This website is completely funded by Doug Knell. It's his time and energy, blood, sweat, and tears that went into this, and he'd like to damn well be rewarded for it.

There are two ways you can reward him. The first: visit the site and delight in his amazing content. The second: pay him outright, as a client would pay a prostitute.  Let's make everyone feel better and call it a donation. Don't worry. It'll go to a good cause. Doug has yachts, planes, and fancy sports cars he wishes to buy.
It wouldn't hurt the house to have a 60-inch flat panel television. (50-inch plasma set recently obtained).  Luxury vacations and silk toilet paper would also be appreciated.


 
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Home / About Doug Knell /
About Doug Knell
Doug KnellDoug Knell 

Doug collects a few commissions from the various links which appear on this page. All commission deals are fully disclosed.


For over three decades, Doug holds the not-so-distinct designation of being a nobody and accomplishing nothing.   More info on his lack of accomplishments can be found here.

He's written books, but none were ever published to become bestsellers.  He's entered contests, but never won.  He's started companies which, even if they wound up profitable, wouldn't amount to a fraction of Elton John's annual wig budget.  He's asked girls on dates and been laughed at to his face.  Ever resourceful, he managed to sneak a peak at one of those girl's journals.  The girl wrote that Doug was funny, entertaining, and witty, but as attractive as a baboon's behind.  She went out with a South African surfer instead. 

Doug grew up in Northeastern Ohio and went on for studies at Cornell University (Note: Doug is entitled to 15% of your degree if you enroll there through this web site), where he obtained a Bachelor of Science (B.S.) degree in Applied & Engineering Physics and a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) degree in Economics.  After graduation, he turned down possible employment at a multi-national corporation based in Ohio so that he could embark on a life of adventure.  That adventure took a wide, wide detour when he accepted a job as an engineer in Sweden at Mydata Automation (Note: Doug scores a small affiliate payout if you interview there, a chunk of your salary if you decide to become employed there), a job so boring that Doug started contemplating suicide before age 25.  Doug left the company after nine months, but remained behind in Sweden for another nine importing videocassettes and cordless phones until his Swedish work permit expired.  He learned a bit of Swedish while there (Note: Doug reaps an affiliate commission if you bother to learn Swedish).  The homogenous Swedes could have cared less. 

Armed with some cash from his Scandinavian experiences, Doug pursued a dream of traveling around the world to non-fair haired nations.  He flew to Southeast Asia and jaunted through Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, and Burma.   The links reflect information current at the time Doug visited. He then continued onwards to Bangladesh, India, Nepal, and Pakistan.  (Note: Doug cashes an affiliate cheque if you decide to visit any of those countries)

Traveling through Asia for 21 months only made him lust for more.  He booked a flight from India to Kenya and spent the next 15 months dancing through East Africa and southern Africa.   (Note: the usual affiliate commissions accrue to Doug if you so much as transit any of those African nations)

Upon returning to the Land of the Free, Doug was beckoned to the bright lights of Hollywood.   (Note: Doug gets paid on net, not gross, affiliate commissions should you visit Hollywood, a complicated scheme the Hollywood studios set up, which really amounts to Doug not getting paid a penny)   His goal: to score a writing position on a TV series.   It never occurred to him that everyone west of the Mississippi had a similar goal.  Then the reality TV craze hit big, and everyone with a hare-brained reality idea became a "writer."  Doug watched a number of his screenplays go directly into the paper shredder. 

The rest of the California-dreaming lifestyle didn't appeal to him either.   He found California one extended traffic-jammed strip mall.  "A drunken tortoise could outrun my car on the 405 Freeway during rush hour," he once commented to no one.  He calculates that his entire early 30's were spent sitting in traffic.  In 2005, he said good riddance to the California Republic for good and bought a one way ticket to Thailand  (Note:  Just because Doug has mentioned Thailand twice doesn't mean he collects two affiliate commissions if you go there) and an onward round-trip ticket to Australia. (Note: Doug's worked out an extra special commission on this one -- he collects both if you go to Australia and if you watch the movie Australia).  After one year and three cars Down Under, Doug returned to Southeast Asia, with the intent of continuing onto China and sampling real Szechuan cuisine. (Note: Doug cut a lucrative commission deal here.  He receives his affiliate commission when you eat Szechuan in China, but also a half commission on any non-Szechuan you eat with the Szechuan).

Doug never made it to China.  The love of a good woman (Note: Doug collects if you visit her site and a sizeable bonus if you can understand any of it) and kiteboarding (Note: If there's over 10 knots and you so much as glance at a kite, Doug gets a commission) kept him anchored in a resort beach town in Thailand until he eventually moved to Bangkok due to the sensual pressures of work and family.   He currently lives there with his wife, son, and adorable cat.