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One of the joys of being in Australian involves seducing an Australian in Australia. If you have the guts and the stamina, picking up an Australian should be something you aspire to do. Scoring in Australia is better than not scoring in Australia. plenty of tourists come to Australia each year to succeed in picking up in Australia. Unfortunately, getting laid in Australia is not something you can count on. Getting laid in Australia will probably be harder than it is in your own country.


Picking Up A Local


"You don't travel thousands of kilometers to Australia for the quality of the pickups, but once you're here, you have to eat.  Outside Australia's metropolitan centers, if you wish to maintain an exclusively Australian diet, you'll find yourself feeding on scraps from the rubbish heap."  Doug Knell, Doug's Republic
picking up an Australian

The quality of Australian pickups is a lot like the quality of Australian food.  When you're in the big cities, like Melbourne or Sydney, you can dine on the best Australia has to offer.  When you're in the boondocks, it's slim pickings all around. 

ugly man from Australiaugly woman from Australia

Hungry To Sample Any Of This?
 
Types Of Travelers Coming Down Under

Generally, there are three types of travelers coming to Australia for a long term trip, long term consisting of two months or longer.   If you are only visiting Australia for a matter of weeks, then it's not relevant if you fall into any of the three categories.  You'll be in Australia for such a short duration that attempting to pickup a local will be superfluous.  It's like trying to learn the local language in a foreign country.  The effort is better rewarded if you're going to be sticking around long enough to put what you learn into practice.
Australia Down Under  Working Holidaymakers.   This group mainly consists of Europeans between the ages of 20 and 30, but mostly early 20's and mostly British, who come to Australia on a one-year working holiday visa.  The visa allows them to work odd jobs as they travel around the country on the cheap.  Irish, Dutch, and Germans also make up a large chunk of working holidaymakers.  Over 100,000 people enter Australia each year on a working holiday, and the working holidaymakers constitute, by far, the largest group of foreigners in Australia for an extended stay but spend the least amount of money per person. 
Australia picking up a girl  Senior citizens or other retirees.  Those who've reached retirement age in their own countries or been able to retire a little earlier than normal because of their jobs or status fall into this category.  These people buy caravans/motorhomes and leisurely travel around the country, usually with a partner but not always.   
Australia picking up a man  Middle-aged, but on the younger side, who've been out of college for at least a decade and are between jobs or phases in their life.  People in this category have had several jobs already and coming to Australia is more of a well-thought out plan instead of following a youthful ritual.  Those falling into this category travel through Australia on a higher budget than the working holidaymakers.

Category Ones, from my observation, see the least of Australia.  If in the country for a year, they usually spendSleazy backpackers in Australia two three-month stints working different jobs.  With the up to six months they have left, they band together with other low-budget working holidaymakers to buy or rent a car and travel around Australia as a group.  Or they're likely to combine renting a vehicle for some portion with el cheapo pre-booked tours.  Category Ones are typically backpackers staying in dormitory beds in backpacker hostels meeting mostly other backpackers.  Therefore, backpackers tend to seduce other backpackers.  It is quite common, in fact, for British Isle backpackers (= backpackers from the UK and Ireland) to pickup other British Isle backpackers.  That shouldn't come as such a surprise when you consider that more than three out of every four working holidaymakers in Australia hails from the British Isles. 

elderly camping in AustraliaCategory Twos are rare.   I encountered plenty of senior citizens and other retirees driving around Australia in caravans/motorhomes, but these travelers were Australians.  These elder Australians were quite nice to me as a solo single male traveler who must have been of similar age to their own children.  I thought if my father, a retired orthopaedic surgeon, were to have met these same Australian seniors in the Australian caravan parks, they would've been entreating him to stay at their homes when he passed through.  Once he looked them up, many would've introduced him to single or widowed female friends of theirs.  Female Australian seniors traveling around Australia on their own (and there are) would've made attempts to seduce him.  If you are a Category Two, particularly a Category Two male, and you have a decent social demeanor, coming to Australia will feel like reliving your studly youth all over again.

Category Threes, while not as rare as Category Twos, are not thick on the ground either.   Most people in their early 30's to early 40's are busting their behinds in their own countries working for "The Man."  They are not drivingDoug Knell traveling around Australia around Australia.   Category Threes face the hardest task in the Australian seduction market.  They cannot coast on backpacker pickups because Category Threes will be 10-15 years, perhaps 20 years, older than the working holidaymakers prancing about Australia.  Being a Category Three myself, I actually found the backpacker pickup market distasteful.   I was too old for them and had little in common.  It would be no different than me trying to hang around college fraternity parties in my own country and attempt to pickup co-eds.  Those days have passed.  I was not trying to relive my youth by hanging out with 22-yr old girls who'd never been so far away from mommy and daddy before.  On the other end of the scale,  seducing a 65-yr old Australian female retiree in a caravan park was also not an option.  Category Threes really have no choice but to seduce an Australian, and they must cast the net wide, be willing and able to seduce targets who range in age from mid-twenties (not married yet) to mid-forties (freshly divorced).   Seducing Australians of similar Category Three age will prove difficult.  Most Australians who are in their early 30's to early 40's are already married.

I will restrict my seduction tips to Category Threes.  First of all, as a Category Three myself, that is where I have the experience.  Second, Category Ones and Category Twos don't really need any seduction advice.  Category Ones are at the prime of their pickup lives; and besides, nearly all will be taking the easy road by picking up the fellow foreign backpacker sleeping in the dormitory bed below them or booking the tour seat next to them.  Category Twos should also have no problem seducing Australian peers, if seduction is an objective.  An urbane foreigner in his or her late fifties, sixties, or seventies will be able to meet plenty of available Australians for a vacation pickup.


Category Three Females Seducing An Australian Male

This is a surefire 3-step method, which is just as sure to work in your country of origin:

1.  Visit the nearest bar or pub.
2.  Act flirtatious with several Australian males.  Play one off against the other and get them all to buy you drinks, as you steadily become drunker and more uninhibited.  The quality of the males who orbit you will depend on how attractive you are.   Rarely will a lack of attractiveness on your part frighten away all prospects.  You could be mistaken for an African elephant and still have at least one male in your orbit.   The uglier you are, however, the more you'll have to spend on drinks.   
3.  Either go home alone and content that you ripped off a lot of Aussie male suckers OR select the best among all your male targets and let him pick you up.  Expected financial costs: $0, and if you do it exceptionally, profits of $100 to millions of dollars.  Anna Nicole-Smith applied these techniques with spectacular results. 
Australian man

Category Three Males Seducing An Australian Female

Australian womanThere are no guaranteed methods here, and most of the Australian women you'll be targeting will in no way resemble the woman to the left.  Outside Australia's metropolitan centers, choice quality drops steeply.  Steel yourself for some worst case scenarios.  It is the same in every nation.  Beautiful women seek better opportunities in better locales.  But in other countries, there are more areas to flock to.  In the USA, you'd have just as many crappy choices available in Bumblescrew, Tennessee as you would in Whyalla, South Australia.  But in the USA, you could find suitable targets in nearby Memphis or go further afield to Atlanta, Houston, Kansas City, Minneapolis, Columbus.  The list goes on and on.  In Australia, it's mostly the state capitals where quality pickups are to be had or on the heavily populated eastern coast. 

You have one thing working in your favor immediately: your accent.  Don't get too excited, mates.  Your accent is unlikely to seal a seduction and, depending upon where you're from, may hamper the deal.  The only sure advantage is that it sets you apart and can save you time and, therefore, money.   Compare the two conversations.


I
Me (to attractive Australian female):   Excuse me.  Can you pass me that coaster, please?
Attractive Australian Female:  Here you go.

II
Me (to attractive Australian female): Excuse me.  Can you pass me that coaster, please?
Attractive Australian Female:  Here you go. Hey, I'm curious.  Are you from the United States or Canada?  

Which conversation, I or II, shows more possibilities for a seduction? 

Australia is nowhere near a pickup mecca.  The average Australian man in his own country is not a pickup dynamo.  As a transient, moving from place to place, why would you be?  You'll observe that the quality of women, both in looks, intelligence, and grace drops off staggeringly as you drive more than 100 km outside most state capitals.  As an example, the state of South Australia may look to the casual observer as a fertile land, but that is deceiving.   South Australia is mostly a desert, the driest state of the driest continent on Earth.   Leave the areas within easy driving distance of Adelaide, like the Yorke and Eyre peninsulas, and you're in a literal desert, both geographically and sexually. The whole humongous state of Western Australia's quality pickup market exists in just a tiny southwestern corner of the state.  Once you leave that region, you're in virtually the same position as a Vatican monk.

Here are some simple tips to maximize your chances of seduction success.  They are meant to improve your chances of a pickup in Australia.  They will not magically convert you from a dufus into a seduction king.  The Elephant Man from the UK would not suddenly become a stud on a visit to Australia. 

  Use your accent to your advantage.    If the woman asks where you're from, it's hardly a guarantee she's ripe for a pickup.  But if she doesn't ask at all or even bother asking your name, she has no interest whatsoever.   Move on quickly.

  Be willing to settle for less than your ideal.   You'll be traveling through some pretty hickish areas.   If you hold the standard that you'll only dine when premium food is available, you'll starve throughout most of your trip in Australia.  If your pickup target can excite you on some level, try to ignore the fact she's cross-eyed, talks with a lisp, and has parents who are first cousins with each other.  Hopefully, you won't be proposing to any of these women.

Don't judge yourself too harshly.    I did.  And when I look back on it now, I was stupid for being so critical of myself.  I wouldn't have batted any of these strikeouts a second look if I were in more congenial surroundings.  In Alice Springs, I repeatedly subjected myself to painful failures by attempting to seduce the same small crew of country bumpkins who would be classified as in-breds where I come from.  As they say, when you're starving, even McDonald's tastes good.  At times, I was forced to prey on the backpacker market (unsuccessfully), which was just as unappetizing for a Category Three male.  Remind yourself that you don't travel to Saudi Arabia to undergo beer tastings anymore than you travel to Australia to experience a copious amount of pickups.

There are nice women to be met, and when you meet one who likes you, they're very straightforward about their intentions and also very generous with their wallets.  A number of Australian women bought me drinks.  One summoned me over to her table.  This never happened to me in America. Just be prepared to go through long, long spells of drought before it rains.




 

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Voltaire Brown's Don't Travel Europe

 Seducing an Australian involves some hard work. Being debonair has nothing to do with it. Picking up an Australian means settling for less than your ideal. Scoring in Australia requires perseverance and optism. P icking up in Australia can be fraught with difficulties. I know plenty of men who were never getting laid in Australia. You have to dust yourself off, smile, and be sure you'll be seducing an Australian very, very soon